don't tempt me
2004-09-08 at 10:12 p.m.
I'm going to Alton Towers tomorrow with the new training programme I joined. It's going to be an amazing day because most of the friends I've made are leaving tomorrow, so it'll kinda be like a leaving party.
I've been staying out a lot lately, sleeping at one of my friends' place. We drop bombs and smoke joints all night, him getting sucked into walls, me, well, rocking like a crazy girl.
It's a great feeling, not being hungry and not wanting to eat anything, I'm glad I took up this habit.
Maybe now I'll get thin.
I'm in the process of getting my own place, away from here, away from my step-dad. I hate him with such passion that it frightens me. I hate him so violently that I can't trust myself to keep my cool if I see him one more time in the street. I don't fancy spending the next 25 Christmases behind bars for his murder.
Tempting though, I would love to see him suffer just an ounce of what he put me through. I would also love to see the look on his precious girlfriends face when she found out that I didn't lie, and he did.
Would she feel guilty for all the times she stared at me in the street like I didn't deserve to breathe? Would she bow her head in shame when she realised, that I wasn't malicious... I was a victim, trying to speak out.
No wonder other rape and sexual abuse victims live in silence. There aren't enough people willing to listen with their hearts.